


Clyde's 3 Step Program to get Wendy Testaburger (and world domination along the way)

by must_be_nargles



Series: The lady and the... Frog? [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Awkward Flirting, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Jealousy, M/M, Romance, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 09:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16116008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/must_be_nargles/pseuds/must_be_nargles
Summary: "So, what you are trying to say is, your mystery crush is Wendy Testaburger?""Yup.""Stan Marsh's on-off girlfriend?""Yeah...""You're fucked."





	Clyde's 3 Step Program to get Wendy Testaburger (and world domination along the way)

Clyde was in love.

He'd sigh out of nowhere, draw hearts in his notebooks and get this stupid dreamy look out of the blue.  The problem was none of his friends knew who was the girl that had stolen the boy's heart. Whenever the topic came out, Clyde would just deny it and say "I don't have a crush! The ladies would get upset." This of course, made him all flustered and red. For some time, this was the only thing that would get out of his mouth until one incident at Token's house.

"I have a crush", he announced suddenly. "No, wait, it's not a crush. I think it's something more."

Everyone rolled their eyes. "No s-s-sh-shit, C-Clyde" answered Jimmy.

"Yeah, we're not as thick as to not notice", added Tweek, "question is, who is she? You have avoided the question FOR WEEKS."

Clyde got a pink tinge in his cheeks as he answered, "Well, problem is, she's kind of... A hard catch."

Craig snorted. "A hard catch? Who is she, Wendy Testaburger?" he asked jokingly. Clyde paled and demanded, "How did you know?!" 

Everyone stared. A lot.

It was Token who broke the awkward silence. "So, what you are trying to say is, your mystery crush is Wendy Testaburger?"

"Yup."

"Stan Marsh's on-off girlfriend?"

"Yeah..."

"You're fucked." The statement was an unanimous agreement.

"No, I'm not! In fact, the reason I admitted it until now is because I plotted a plan to successfully court her!!" He stated. "It is a 3 step program I like to call 'A Plot for World Domination." He turned to see them, and even though all were wearing incredulous expressions, he continued. "The first step is getting rid of Stan, then I have to convince her of my awesomeness, and finally I'll have her all to me!"

Tweek blinked. "Wow, poor Wends." the blonde blurted. "You are an idiot."

"Hey!" Clyde glared at him. "If Token could have her, why can't I?"

Token looked at him as if he was stupid, and sighed. "Dude, we dated when we were EIGHT. WE'RE SIXTEEN NOW."

Clyde just shrugged, and stared at the window dreamily. He'd show them.

* * *

 

"He's just so... Ugh! He's so ugh! I don't know what to do with him, Jesus!" 

Bebe Stevens watched in amusement as her best friend, Wendy Testaburger, ranted in frustration about a certain Clyde Donovan. It had become a common thing ever since the boy decided to try and get her. Wendy, of course, had not been impressed.

"Why can't he just leave me alone? Really, I've lost count of the times he's asked me out the past week. In class, he just can't seem to take his eyes out of me. Not even Stan..." her eyes saddened at the mention of her boyfriend. Bebe understood. Wendy and Stan always had problems. It made her angry that her friend now had such a low self esteem because of the lack of affection that Marsh dude showed her. "Is that even surprising, though? Stan **never** lays his eyes on me." she said bitterly.

Bebe, seeing the opportunity, grabbed it. "Then why do you keep up with him, Wends?" she retorted.

The raven haired girl looked at her as if she'd grown another head. "I can't leave him alone! No, he has problems..." she lost focus for a moment, and then continued her previous rant. "Anyway, Tweek can't stop apologizing about Clyde's idiotness! It's not his fault, of course, but I guess he thinks it's his responsibility or something because he's close to m..." Abruptly, Wendy's eyes went wide, and just as fast they changed with a glint of annoyance.

Bebe turned her head, and saw the subject of Wendy's annoyance: a bright, grinning brown haired boy. "Heeeey, Testaburger."

"What do you want, Clyde?" she snapped. Clyde didn't look taken aback anymore, he just smiled. "Well, you know, this movie just came out, and I was wondering..."

"Clyde, I have A BOYFRIEND."

"Really? I didn't notice! Wen, he doesn't deserve you..." He was interrupted by a punch in his face. 

Uh oh, that touched a nerve. "How DARE YOU determine if someone deserves me? STAN LOVES ME! I-I know that..." She looked around, noticing that people were watching, and then at Clyde, tears in her eyes. "How dare you call me 'Wen'? How dare..."

And then she left.

* * *

 

Clyde was bummed. He really was thick, wasn't he? He shouldn't have mentioned Stan in that way. But really, he didn't deserve her. Why couldn't Wendy see that? He rubbed his cheek absentmindedly, and entered Tweek's café. There, he found a very mushy Craig snuggling a very flustered Tweek.

"Wow, that's gay."

They looked up at him, and didn't bother to separate. Craig was the one to talk first. "Hey Clyde. What's with your cheek?"

"Wendy." Neither of them tried to get a further explication. They were used to his friend's antics.

They spent the next moments in comfortable silence. Clyde thought of Wendy. He knew it was cheesy, but he couldn't bring himself to let go of her. She was just so... Smart, and strong, beautiful and kind. Way out of his league, he was aware. Even so, he wasn't going to give up. No one had made him feel like that before. 

The café's bell broke his thoughts, and he turned to see Marsh with Wendy. Alarmed, he escaped to hide under the desk. Tweek rolled his eyes but said nothing. He instead smiled at the pair and went to take their orders. Clyde however tried to spy on their conversation.

* * *

 

Wendy looked at her boyfriend. He was beautiful, and she couldn't help but smile. He caught her looking and gave her a tentative smile. Encouraged, she decided to talk to him about Clyde. He would care, and get jealous, right? 

"Hey Stan, I've been having a... problem. Lately." she started, "It involves Clyde. Did you know he's been asking me out or the past few weeks?"

"Oh?" he asked. Yes, there it was. He'd get all jealous now. "Ah, yeah, I know."

Wendy gaped at him. "What? Y-you know?"

"Yeah, it was not hard to figure out. Really Wendy, don't worry. He'll lay off eventually. That's the type of guy he is." Wendy was flabbergasted. That's how he was gonna act? She couldn't help asking, "Aren't you jealous?"

 "Jealous?" he snorted, "Not at all. It's not like you'll flirt back or something. Why would you want me to be jealous?"

"Well Stan, maybe I want to feel like you care for me!" she blurted out, and immediately regretted it. Stan gave her an incredulous stare.

"Wendy, of course I care for you! What do you want from me, an engagement ring?" He asked furiously.

"I WANT YOUR ATTENTION! You never look at me anymore! Why, Stanley? Why can't you care for me? Why does it always have to be me who starts everything?" 

"That's bullshit, Wendy! See? That's why I prefer to spend my time with Kyle, Kenny or Cartman rather than with you. You just-just overreact!" He stood up, glaring at her. "Call me when you stop bitching about everything, alright?" Then he left her.

She watched him leave and after he was out of sight, started sobbing. Tweek slowly approached her. "It's not your fault", he said, "Don't ever believe that."

Wendy gave him a torn smile and paid the order. As soon as she was out, she cried.

* * *

 

"HE'S A JERK! A total asshole! WHO does HE think he is to treat Wendy like that? Holy shit!" For once, no one tried to object to Clyde's comments. They all knew he was right. "Why does she stay? I-I could treat her so much better!" 

"Then prove it", came the holy advice, in the voice of Craig Tucker. "Prove her you care."

And prove he did. He would smile at her when he passed her in the halls. He would send her cheerful notes in class. He would sneak chocolates and candies in her backpack. He would attend all her volleyball games. But most importantly, he wouldn't annoy her by asking her out. He was supportive in silence.

Then one day, Wendy approached him after class. "Why?" she spout. 

"Why what, Wendy?" He questioned innocently.

"Why do you care?" she answered in disbelief. 

"I heard what happened at the café last week." That stunned her, and made her look at him straight in the eye. "You know that's not true, right? All he said." She didn't say anything, so he continued. "You were right about everything. He, as your boyfriend, should pay more attention to you. What he said about you bitching is wrong. You shouldn't let him do that, Wendy. You are worthy of so much more." He said this with a passion that made the purple eyed girl blush slightly. After analyzing him for a few more seconds, she sighed.

"Pick me up this Friday at six. I get to pick the movie."

* * *

 

"No Nichole, the yellow skirt won't work! The jeans are so much cuter!"

"This is Clyde we're talking about, he loves bright colors!"

Wendy watched Bebe and Nichole discuss her outfit with melancholy. It had been years since they had put such a fuss over what she was wearing to a date. She told them so.

"Well, it's been years since you go to a date with a guy that will notice what you wear." Nichole answered. "It's good you're past Stan, Wends. I'm glad." She smiled, and Wendy swallowed.

"Well, I'm not exactly free either..." They both looked at her in confusion. "Stan and I fought pretty badly, but I didn't technically break up with him." 

"WHAT?" exclaimed Bebe, "Then why did you ask Clyde out?!"

"Because he was being really sweet! Stan never..." she sighed, "Things haven't worked out with Stan for a long time, but I can't bring myself to cut him off. He's so damaged. His family's a wreck, and his depression is slowly taking over him... I can't help but feel guilty, you know?"

"But Wen, don't you notice? His attitude is rubbing off in you! You lost a lot of your confidence because of him. I get that you want to help him, but he's not alone. He has Kyle, for example. You don't have to take charge of him because you're not his mother. If this keeps on, you'll end up attached and miserable." Nichole looked at her sadly. "If you want to give yourself a chance with Clyde, you have to let go of Stan. Completely."

Wendy rubbed her temple. "We'll see."

* * *

 

"Token! Is my outfit okay? Do I look presentable? Should I give her the flowers? Or would that be too over the top? Should I-" 

"You look good, Clyde. Give her the flowers. You'll be okay." Jimmy watched entertained the nervousness of his friend. He'd never seen him so nervous before.

"But what should I do? What should I talk with her about?" he asked, anxious.

"Look C-cl-lyde, j-j-just be y-yourself. T-t-t-that seems t-to wo-work." Clyde nodded, exhaled, and mentally prepared himself. After a few good lucks from his friends, he drove to Wendy's house. He shakily rang the bell and waited.

What he saw made his breathing stop. She looked drop dead gorgeous, with a pale pink crop top and denim jeans. He noticed she had a piercing in her belly. She had her hair up in a ponytail and she was using a pretty lip gloss. He felt like the luckiest man in the world. Clyde looked at her violet eyes, blushed and offered her the flowers. "You look... Wow."

She just laughed. "Flowers? So cheesy." However, she couldn't hide her pleasure at the attention.

The ride to the movies was really pleasant. The conversation was easy, and they found a shared loved to Destiny's Child and The Cardigans. Clyde noted that Wendy had a similar sense of humor to his, so he made her laugh a lot. He also noticed that when she laughed she closed her eyes and touched her hair, which he found incredibly cute.

At the theater, Wendy chose an action movie he had never heard about, but at least it wasn't a romance movie, so it was alright with him. He intended to pay for everything, but she would have none of it. After a while Clyde relented and they split halves. 

At some point in the movie, he lost focus on the plot and found looking at the raven haired girl much more interesting. How could Stan ignore her he would never know. She was unique. Every expression on her face made his heart skip a beat. Unexpectedly, Wendy turned and watched him stare. He flushed, and to his surprise she did too. At his inquiring stare, she explained. "I'm not used to it. I never met anyone who would look at me like that. All these years, I thought relationships were supposed to be like the thing Stan and I had. Seeing Nichole and Token, or Tweek and Craig, I wondered why I deserved a relationship like mine. But now, you look at me... like that. It's confusing, but I like it. I like you." She smiled, and he felt his heart thumping loudly. _She liked him._

The ride to her house was silent, filled with shy stares and cute smiles. At her doorstep, she hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He wanted more, and she knew it, so she said "I need to do something first."

Wendy Testaburger broke up with Stan Marsh that night.  

* * *

Clyde Donovan was filled with anticipation that morning. He didn't know why, but he was sure that something big was going to happen between Wendy and him today. His cheerfulness was noticeable and all his friends were shooting him inquisitive glances. Still, he did not tell them anything. It was all part of the anticipation.

It was lunch time and he still hadn't seen much of Wendy. It made him even more nervous. What was this feeling? Everyone else noticed this, too.

"So, what happened with Wendy?" Inquired Tweek, "You look like you're going to explode of excitement."

Before Clyde could answer, she saw her. She was stunning as always, but she had an air of decision around her. She was approaching him. Clyde could almost taste the anticipation. When she got to where he was, he stood up, she threw her arms around him and then he kissed her. The kiss was everything a kiss could be. Passionate, exciting, full of love and emotion. He didn't know how many time they stood there kissing until she broke the kiss, smiled at him and then winked. 

"See you around, Donovan" she said, and went to her table.

All he did was grin.

* * *

 


End file.
